conquering the fear of becoming a hijabi - wordsbehindasmile - nilly n.f.

Conquering the fear of becoming a Hijabi

As Ramadan approaches, many people either try to let go or create habits they plan on keeping long term. Practicing hijab is one common deed I’ve seen many start in Ramadan throughout the years. Doesn’t matter where you are in your journey of hijab, every girl is struggling with different issues: there is no one size fits all.

Every girl is struggling with different issues: there is no one size fits all

You might be someone who has girls in her family wearing hijab, and you may want to somewhere down the line, but you haven’t given it much thought. Maybe you’re thinking of wearing hijab but feel it may stop you from being who you are and/or activities you may be interested in. Maybe you’ve been wearing hijab and feel a lack of self-esteem, and you need that extra push of motivation to keep on moving forward in your spiritual journey, etc. Whatever the scenario may be, I hope sharing my experience of 8 years will help you either ease into hijab or to be comfortable in it.

1. Set a realistic expectation and intention

Saying “Oh, I’ll do it when I’m old and my kids are married” may sound like a realistic expectation, but it’s based on wishful thinking void of decisiveness and certainty. Besides, tomorrow isn’t promised, how can anyone look so far ahead? Growing up, I told myself I’d start wearing hijab SOME day, but never identified when that would be until my senior year of high school. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. In March of 2011, I remember coming back home one Sunday from the mosque I taught at, and the first person my eyes landed on as I entered was my dad. While heading upstairs, I turned to him and said “I’m going to start wearing hijab for sure before I start at UIC” and ran upstairs. That was it. I just declared my intention out loud and now I had to start figuring out how. I was nervous, scared even, but excited. There were four months left until high school graduation, which was an adequate time to prepare myself. Give yourself a realistic time frame, and it’ll help you stay focused and working towards your goal.

2. Prepare Mentally

Learn to prepare for it mentally before doing it physically. Wearing a hijab is more of a mental thing than physical, so I started to put hijab on randomly in my room and look at myself in the mirror. I started to work on building on my foundations such as praying more time instead of rushing in the last minutes, and in general being more spiritually conscious of my decisions.

2. Take it SLOW

Hijab doesn’t have to happen overnight for you. You don’t need to wake up tomorrow and determine that is the day you wear hijab for the rest of your life. Unless, of course, you have that kind of willpower- kudos to you girl! But as for me, I definitely had to start slow. I started adjusting my wardrobe little by little to fit a more modest lifestyle.

3. Continue to perfect your modesty.

This is key because what you think is modest now may not be the same in the future. There are days I’ll look back at my outfits in old pictures and cringe at how I ever thought it was modest enough to wear at the time. Maybe years down the line, I’ll look at pictures from today and wonder the same thing. My point is, as you continue in your journey, you naturally become conscious of what is okay and what isn’t. However, take that voice inside of you to remind yourself where you started. Don’t look down at other girls based on where they are in their hijab journey. Everybody is striving for perfection in their own way; their intentions and actions are between them and God. Humble yourself, and be thankful for how far you’ve come in your own journey.

4. Ramdan is a great time to start!

Ramadan is a great time to start doing this! I’ve seen so many girls wear hijab only for the month of Ramadan for years and then finally wore it all year round. This was the same when it came to music for me, but that’s another topic. Point being: ANY deed/habit can become permanent during these blessed days if you try and make the intention to.

5. There’s no such thing as Perfect Hijabi

The last thing I can tell you is, you don’t have to be the perfect hijabi. There is no such thing. You’d rather put it on for some time than no time at all because of what people will say. I understand the backlash Muslim women face whether they wear hijab or not. If they don’t wear it, they’re questioned about even being Muslim. If they do wear it, they’re wearing it “wrong”. If they’re wearing it properly, “why do they have any makeup on”. The list is endless! And mind you, a lot of these comments come from people that don’t wear hijab themselves.

The ones who do the least seem to always have the most to say, so trust me when I say this, you can NEVER please people so focus on yourself. The earlier you learn this, the happier you will be.

Islam is a path, not a final destination. Everyone is a different journey in this path and where they are has nothing to do with you and vice a versa. Just focus on yourself and your journey on this path. People forget while pleasing everyone that they have to live with themselves at the end of the day. If you’re happy with yourself, then that’s all that matters. What a random person behind a screen or your aunt’s in-law’s cousin’s mom said isn’t going to matter. We’ve come into this world alone, and we will have to go alone.

This post has been republised from wordsbehindasmile

Written by Nilly N.F. | Follow her on Instagram

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