I’m battling heart-valve-problem along with Post-Partum Anxiety. Yes it’s a part of PPD. It causes you a lot of bad thoughts and severe worries. What I am about to share is not a professional advice, but rather my personal experience. I can’t stand with crowds, sounds, comments, can’t leave house, extreme tiredness (my valve problem take part at this too) bedtime feels hard because my mind keep racing, popping from one thought to another. Every time I go, my chest feels tight, my heartbeat raises and I feel it hard to breath. That’s a panic attack, yes! I googled what’s wrong and Nobody believed me at the first when I told them maybe it’s PPA.
Sadly, mental health is not much acceptable in here, especially in the Muslim Community.
People told me that it’s just lack of Imaan in Allah, that I’m not grateful for what I’ve had now. It crushed me. I was very confused, because I am extremely grateful for my baby, Allah has chosen me for it, so I’ll be the best mother I can be. Although, the extreme tiredness would make me pass my Salah time several times and I slowly let them judged by my Imaan and by my illness.
Then one day, I told my husband, mom, and friends that I needed help. I also searched for a person who is struggling with similar symptoms, so that i could share my pain with someone who would understand. And I met someone online, a mom who had been struggling with similar anxiety. We talked and she provided much comfort to my ailing heart. She reaffirmed that it’s normal, she gave me hope, she also told me that this illness makes her closer to God (she’s not Muslim though). Her journey inspired me and we became close friends.
I believe, it is Allah who sent her for me. Now she’s helping another mom by being mediator in a group called ‘PPD doesn’t define me’. And I finally decided to seek some professional help as well. I choose talk-therapy through psychologist and hypno-therapy. I regularly checked my heart condition with my cardiologist as well,
Things are getting much better, Alhamdulillah. The struggle is still there, but i’m trying. This illness has brought me closer to Allah, made me do dzikr more than ever, helped me meet kind-hearted people, made me aware of mental health.
There is always a certain ease behind every difficulty. Sabr is the only way. I know it’s easier said than done, but that’s the only way.
Healing takes time.
Now that I know how delightful being helped feels, I have started a new page @lyfeafterkid, documenting my journey, in order to help another moms that are struggling. We don’t know how much happiness we can spread with kindness unless we give it first.
May Allah always give us chance to maintain our Imaan by the way He is willing. I would also request everyone reading this to spread awareness about mental health, because it’s just as important as physical health ♥️
– Dina Rahmi